Royal treatment for a king's ransom! In an effort to justify charging even more for our First Class seating, SkyHigh Airlines is proud to herald our new... (trumpets, please)... Royalty Class! We've said "cheerio" to our First Class section and "'Ello, luv" to a single jewel-encrusted throne, available exclusively to kings, queens, grand dukes, earls, sultans, margraves and princesses! Upon verification of your lineage, you'll enjoy in-flight jesters, all-u-can-eat oversized turkey drumsticks, and abundant overhead storage for your crown and scepter. All while SkyHigh's lesser yet still valued passengers are kept at bay by a dedicated Royal Stewardess. To apply for SkyHigh's Royalty Class, simply send a blood or hair sample and 400 pink rubies, sealed in a golden chest and delivered by vestal virgins, to SkyHigh Airlines Corporate Offices, attention Chairman Howard Barium. Those with non-royal lineage could try Alaska Airlines - we hear they actually lowered their First Class Fares. Peasant lovers!
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